The Shocking Truth About Facemasks

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THE coronavirus menaces yet.

Maybe you believe a face shield is your sword, a colossal weapon against the microscopic barbarians at your gate.

Our agents inform us you can purchase a face shield for perhaps $10.

But let us suppose you perch upon the upper rungs of America’s social ladder.

Let us further suppose you wish to be seen upon this ladder, high aloft… all beneath looking up in heart-eating envy.

Well then, we have the personal protection equipment for you…

The Price of Vanity

A Louis Vuitton face shield you can have for $961 — some $950 above standard.

Is this viral barrier $950 superior to the plebian plastic that shields the lower 99%?

Our men have conducted a thorough scientific inquiry — in studies singly blind, doubly blind and triply blind.

As a barrier, they conclude, Louis Vuitton’s face shield is the precise equal of the socially inferior issue.

Yet the socially inferior issue does not bear the razzle-dazzle of Louis Vuitton.

“We are all in this together,” we are told. Yet even together… apparently… some insist upon standing apart.

Vanity, Louis Vuitton is thy name.

If You Must Settle

Perhaps a $961 plastic yet golden face cover is beyond your means.

You nonetheless aspire to radiate a superior air to the lessers around you.

May we then suggest a leather Louis Vuitton face mask?

The unwashed hordes may go about in their ten cent surgical masks. But you can advertise your aristocracy for a mere $50.

Gucci, meantime, will sell you similar “luxury masks.”

You may have difficulty breathing while wearing one. You nonetheless wallow in luxury, in opulence.

But are masks and shields — Louis Vuitton, Gucci, or Acme — effective barriers at all?

They are not, concludes physicist Denis Rancourt. This fellow is a learned master of “environmental nanoparticles.”

A Maginot Line

A facial covering is — he concludes — a Maginot Line of sorts.

It is no more effective at keeping out viruses than France’s Maginot Line was at keeping out Germans.

Both are easily outflanked.

As well erect a chain link fence to keep the flies out. Rancourt:

When I looked at all the randomized controlled trials with verified outcome, meaning you actually measure whether or not the person was infected … NONE of these well-designed studies … found there was a statistically significant advantage of wearing a mask versus not wearing a mask…

What this means — and this is very important — is that if there was any significant advantage to wearing a mask to reduce this [infection] risk, then you would have detected that in at least one of these trials, [yet] there’s no sign of it.

That to me is a firm scientific conclusion: There is no evidence that masks are of any utility either preventing the aerosol particles from coming out or from going in. You’re not helping the people around you by wearing a mask, and you’re not helping yourself preventing the disease by wearing a mask.

This science is unambiguous in that such a positive effect …read more

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